Friday, July 20, 2012

Wine Stained Thoughts of a Twenty-Something

I've been waking up every single morning these past few weeks going "What am I doing with my life?"   There's been many existential thoughts running through my head as of late. "What is life?" or simply "Why?"

Where have my thoughts been running off to? I have been thinking. We are grounded in reality, yet we yearn to escape it every single day. Some of us cope with mood altering substances, some of us 'cope' by becoming depressed. Why do we become depressed? This is a thought that's been running through my head and into the ether constantly.

I have come to the conclusion that depression stems from the want to learn. The need to experience. The drive to get out and see what this world has to offer. We sit at our desks, day in and day out, crunching numbers, helping people that are incapable of helping themselves just so we can get by. Just so we can live in our fucking houses and drive our cars, and live one more day where we can escape this harsh 'reality' that we call our home.

Pessimistic? Yes. But why must we live inside these social norms that we have built around ourselves? If you don't like what you do, then don't do it. Do what you love, what you feel you must be doing.

I feel like this can be a radical, and even detrimental statement to most. We must always do things we don't want to do to live in this place that we have built for ourselves. Is there a reason? Absolutely. You have to make money to live. It sucks.

Make the most of your life. Every single day I've encountered this statement: "I wanted to do this, but life happened." Take a risk, fuck. Everyone that has told this to me is young, ambitious, incredibly talented; and most importantly... educated! There is no reason to piss your life away and wondering what could've been. Stability is enticing, but not necessary. It is only to fit into what our lives have been shaped around. Go to college, get a good job, support your family.

I understand the need; but not the want. I yearn for success, but what does success mean in your eyes?

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